POST PRIME

“To what has been a great year. And to what I’m sure will be a prosperous and great next year as well.” People laugh at this. I don’t think Bob from HR meant for it to be funny, but, truthfully, I’m only half paying attention.

I’m too busy drinking. My goal at the office Christmas party every year is to drink as much free liquor as possible and then duck out before I do something stupid. I’m fine with doing stupid shit, just not at work, not anywhere a lasting impression may be made. Get out, anywhere else and let your frustration fly after the party has always been my policy. Last year this led to me flirting with my girlfriend’s sister at her family’s party we went to after the office party. Okay, we’re not together anymore so I can admit that we made out in my ex’s old bedroom. Year before that I went to a bar alone and ended up being physically thrown out for peeing on a table.

I don’t bother counting drinks, the thought process would simply be a distraction from my ultimate goal, but I know I’m close when Jennie comes up to where I’m sulking and drinking with the corner ficus. She’s someone’s secretary or assistant. I’m not sure whose, they come and go so much it’s not worth keeping track. She’s no one important though so I can let my guard down, show my drunkeness a bit. I keep my feet firmly planted on Avery’s desk. She comes bearing an extra drink in her hand. I like this girl. Her bottom lands next to my feet. As she crosses her legs I get a peak up her skirt. Light red, not quite pink, elusive. She doesn’t pull it back down. It’s gotta be the booze, but I think she wants to fuck me. I think it’s a good idea. These thoughts are like exit signs. It’s time to get out of here. I tell her it’s been a pleasure, but I have another engagement. She asks me if I can show her how to change the toner in the copier before I go. So outlandish and I know where it’s headed, but I say yes. She corners me against the coffee pot and thrusts her lips into mine. I throw her ass up onto the copier. Her panties lay on the stubby brown carpet. I hit the copy button and stick my dick in her. Fuck it, I hate my job anyways.

POST PRIME

Fine Folk

I Hate My Job: Office Party